I have decided to go for it. I’m going to participate in NaNoWriMo this year. That’s National Novel Writing Month, in case you don’t know. Writers from all over the world log on and commit to writing a novel in a month.  What? I know, crazy, right? I’ve been aware of it, known people who have done it for several years, but never considered doing it myself. It’s so not my style, not how I write. Frantically scribble away without careful plotting and obsessive editing as I go? Commit to an absurd 1500 words a day, every day for a month, 50,000 words by the month’s end? No way.

I typically plod along at an absurdly slow pace, sometimes go days even weeks at a time without writing a word. I might be thinking about it, jotting a few notes in a notebook, but actually put words on the page? No. My first novel, When It’s Over, took me 12 years to write start to finish, six years to complete the first draft. At 140,000 words—before the copy editor had at it—I calculate that to be an average of 63 words a day. That’s more like it.

I’m trying to write Novel #2. Not a sequel, and not even in the same genre. I am switching to contemporary instead of historical fiction. This one is set in California, early 2000’s, and is inspired by my years of clinical experience working with activists in the disability community, and patients who find the resilience to rebuild their lives after spinal cord injury.

But I’m making very slow progress. I started over two years ago, but then got side-tracked by all the work preparing When It’s Over for publication: final editing, proof-reading, cover design, and then all the marketing, publicity, platform-building efforts.  This has all been very rewarding; it’s been wonderful to have my novel out in the world. Just today, one year after publication, I received an email out of the blue, from an appreciative reader who really connected with the book: a writer’s dream come true.

But working on #2? I’m not very good at multi-tasking when it comes to writing. I tend to focus on only one thing at a time. And all the work on When It’s Over provided plenty of excuse to avoid sitting down in front of the blank screen and produce new material. I wrote a few chapters over the summer, and have received encouraging feedback from my writing group. “Write-on!” they say. Easier said than done. I don’t really know where the story is going, how it will unfold. I don’t have a clear understanding of some of the characters. I draw diagrams, and make notes and ruminate, but nothing gets written.

Why bother, you may ask. I don’t have to do it. I have written one novel, I am retired and can really do whatever I like in my golden years. But I feel so much happier when I’m writing. The magic of sculpting the words into stories, massaging them until they’re just right: I love it. That’s my favorite part of writing, the editing, the fine polishing. When I have something I can work with, when I can chisel way, and it comes together and works, it’s wonderful. Without that, I feel a void in my life. But I have to start with something, and filling the blank page is really hard. 

So, I have taken the plunge and signed up for NaNoWriMo. You’re supposed to start on an entirely new novel, and supposed to commit to 50,000 words. But just like I never follow a recipe exactly, I’ll be doing my own thing here, follow my own road. My goal is to write 30,000 words, to add to the 30,000 I already have. To write, write, write, without constant editing and self-doubt. To give myself permission to churn out that shitty first draft. To write scenes as they come to me, not necessarily in linear order. Yikes. It’s going to be a real challenge.

I’ve been doing some prep work. Listening to the wonderful Write-Minded  podcast hosted by Brooke Warner and Grant Faulkner. Studying Lisa Cron’s book Story Genius, and doing the exercises she suggest. Reading over my old notes, thinking, ruminating…. Getting psyched for Ready, Set, Go!